Thursday, September 29, 2011

Improv 1, Post 8, Week 5

Betrayal
Adam Zagajewski

The greatest delight, I sense,
is hidden sublimely in the act of betrayal
which can be equal only to fidelity.
To betray a woman, friends, an idea,
to see new light in the eyes
of distant shadows. But choices are
limited: other women, other
ideas, the enemies of our
long-standing friends. If only
we could encounter some quite different
otherness, settle in a country which has
no name, touch a woman before
she is born, lose our memories, meet
a God other than our own.

Stretching
Casey LaRue

The free-est feeling, I believe,
is embraced mainly in the start of the morning
which can be equal only to the night.
To stretch a back, arms, a neck,
to feel new muscles in the length
of familiar arms. But times are
limited: lying in bed, sitting
up, the moment you first
stand. If only
we could maintain some quite stretchy
state of being, lying in beds of
air and water, each limb long and
flexible, mentality malleable
and open, souls
embracing every day.

1 comment:

  1. Casey,

    This piece melds the physical and the spiritual in an appealing way with the phrase "some quite stretchy state of being." I also like "mentally malleable" and "souls embracing." I think the draft's structure is a little quirky, but I realize you are riffing off of "Betrayal." I'm not sure you need "I believe," and "embraced" works better in the last line than the second. Perhaps change it to 'encountered' or 'enjoyed.' I think you could expand this draft and create something even more interesting. It certainly shows potential!

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