#12

For my free entry this week, I did the "best overheard line" idea. The line was, "She's like Beethoven. And I'm like Houdini." I heard it in Wal-Mart walking past a group of teens that couldn't have been over sixteen. So I adapted it just a little. Here it is!

I was nothing but good to him.
My actions sang of love--
the sweet symphony of affection.

He never even heard the melody.

So I began to practice the art of escape.
Each night in my mirror I'd rehearse
my lines, tying my words in knots all too easily undone.

I perfected my disappearance, then put on a show.

He's like Beethoven.
And I'm like Houdini.
Masters of opposing crafts

can never share the stage.

#11

This week I've enjoyed getting to know more about different styles of poetry. I've always been more of a free writer, so it's a lot of fun to see what I can do with different forms. While it's extremely challenging, I'm trying my hand at each of them, and turning the one I like the best in for workshop. So far I've completed a Villanelle, and I'm working on a Pantoum. I may post some of my other attempts as my free entry this week.

I love the repetition of lines in both the Villanelle and Pantoum. To me, repetition gives a sense of momentum to the piece, and it moves the poem along to its eventual climax. It is tough, however, to design lines that can be repeated without seeming overdone. I was halfway through with a Pantoum when I realized that it sounded extremely cliche and I ended up trashing the whole thing. Now I've got to start over and see what I can do. I look forward to seeing your adaptations as well!

#10

Sheep Charmer

She writes, and
So many emotions spring to the surface.
She wills
This lamb to save her,
That one to comfort her,
The other to inspire her.
The birds sing to her
When her father comes home,
And each night she cries into
What the Angels Left.

If you didn't know, that was supposed to be a piece about Howe. I used only what I remembered from her writing--only what struck me enough to stick with me. That's probably the reason I used the lamb idea so much. Thoughts? Comments? Ideas for revisions?

#9

While reading through Howe's poetry this week, I found several things I liked, and several that I didn't. I figured a critical post was more than appropriate for examining these aspects of her writing.

One thing I enjoyed throughout her work was, as we talked about in class, she has an ability to say shocking things without shocking the reader. She uses such strong language and imagery that there's no way around what she's saying to you. Sometimes she uses words that would get me a slap across the mouth. But she does it in such a way that you can't be upset because it fits so perfectly.

I must admit that, while I understand having a central theme to your poetry, the repetition throughout her poems was driving me nuts. If I read about a lamb or a bird one more time I was going to shut the book and give up. I feel like a great writer would be able to express their ideas with a multitude of words rather than the same ones over and over.

Another thing I liked about Howe's writing was that some of her work was religious. I've never read religious poetry before so I really enjoyed that new facet. Although her religious poems used the lamb metaphor constantly, I feel like here it was almost okay because the lamb is a religious idea anyway.

Did any of you feel like this about her writing? Or am I completely crazy?

#8

For this week's free entry I decided to post an updated version of my Billiards poem from class. Here it is!

Billiards

The white ball sits atop the green felt
facing the colorful triangle.
Waiting for its cue,
the ball almost vibrates with anticipation.

A sudden crack,
a sharp pain,
the
cue
ball
rolls
at
an
alarming
rate.

The colors
cry out for mercy.
Another moment,
and all Hell breaks loose.
Hectic collisions,
suffering screams...
Over and over the colors crash.
One by one they disappear into the darkness.
Shivering with fear, they await their turn to fall,
Newton freezing them in place with the curse of inertia.

As the white ball chooses its victim,
each color envisions themselves
rolling
spinning
bouncing
out of control,
first off the others,
then off the walls.
The upside of darkness is that
there is no more pain.

The lone ball sits atop the green felt
and thinks
This is what I live for.

#6

My favorite poem in the packet is Read This Poem from the Bottom Up by Ruth Porritt.
Oddly enough, the stanza structure didn't change my opinion. If something is to be in rhythm, four is the usual choice. This poem doesn't have a set meter (especially when you read from the top), but the four lines per stanza did make it pleasing to the eye.

This poem is my favorite because I actually attempted to write a piece like this in high school. I thought it was pretty original back then, but I guess it's all been done before.

Anyway, here's my poem. Instead of reading line by line backwards, you read all the way through, then read backwards by the stanza. Keep in mind this was many years ago and it has not been revised. Suggestions would always be welcome though!

Reverse

I am numb,
Floating through an endless darkness,
Unable to move or think or speak.

Suddenly, my entire body is burning.
I feel the pain of thousands within me.

I cannot move.
These straps bind me,
They tie me down.

The men lead me in.
It is a tiny room
With a single chair.

I've been waiting for seven years now. Waiting for this day
When I can once again see your face
And tell you I'm sorry
For what you did.

The gavel sounds, and I am led out,
Bound for a seven-year wait.

I admit, it's true.
I did indeed commit this terrible act
Of revenge
I am still amazed at my act of vengeance.

In a fit of rage,
I stab with the pencil
Again and again

You try to apologize,
But I am overcome
With anger,
Fear,
Hate,
And envy.

I begin to write a poem
I am numb,
Floating through an endless darkness...

I know exactly where you were.



I know it was terrible, but like I said, I did it many years ago. Seeing someone else that attempted and succeeded with the same idea made me really excited, so I pulled this one out of the vault for your enjoyment.

~LaRue

#5

What if you had to move to a new state each year?

It would be wonderfully exciting
Wouldn't it?
You'd be provided with
New Year's resolutions for certain.
Find a new state.
Find a new home.
Find a new job,
New friends,
New life.
It would be terribly lonely though
Wouldn't it?
There would be so much
You could never do.
Never live in your childhood home.
Never remember your first state.
Never say "born and raised,"
Be considered a local
Or even feel settled.
If your spouse had already lived in a state you hadn't,
You would be apart for at least a year.
And after all that stress,
No one would live past fifty anyway.