Peer Response 2, Post 7, Week 10

In Response to Kamau's "Improv 2 Week 10":


I really like what you did with the beginning of this poem. The clothesline image is really great. The rest of the piece seemed to rely too much on the original. I think after that section you could branch off and create your own piece.
I would also like to see more interesting places in your draft. Where can the light go that dark can't? Nowhere really. When you think about it, light is futile because everything returns to darkness eventually. Maybe you could bring the piece back around that way and refer to the original piece, maybe ending with a quote.