Thursday, November 3, 2011

Improv 1, Post 8, Week 10

Journal (First 13 lines)
Billy Collins

Ledger of the head's transactions,
log of the body's voyage,
it rides all day in a raincoat pocket,
ready to admit any droplet of thought,
nut of a maxim,
narrowest squint of an observation.

It goes with me
to a gallery where I open it to record
a note on red and the birthplace of Corot,
into the tube of an airplane
so I can take down the high dictation of clouds,
or on a hike in the woods where a young hawk
might suddenly fly between its covers.



Wallet
Casey LaRue

Swaddler of the hand's transactions,
divider of the magnet strips,
it rides all day in the back wool pocket,
ready to shear off twenty any moment,
display the family,
provide a name if the face is lost.

It goes with him
to a gas station where he unfolds it to buy
Newport Cadillacs and a brown Bic,
into the booth at the steakhouse
so he can keep his mistress hungry
or to the tailor where the fabric threatens
to lose it in the folds.

1 comment:

  1. Casey,

    This draft's first line starts off really well, especially "swaddler"--a great noun! It conjures "swindler" which also relates to money. The imagery of the second line evades me, unless it refers to magnets that hold the wallet together. I like your strong verbs of "shear," "display," and "provide," but I think "rides" lacks zest.

    The second stanza offers good descriptions but fails to get as far off subject like Collins' poem does. But I still enjoy the whimsical tone of your draft for such a practical object as a wallet. Fun!

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