Peer Response 1, Post 6, Week 12

In Response to Tim's "Free Entry, Week 12":

I think the subject of this piece is interesting, especially when it's studied in such a different way than we're used to seeing. However, I will say that some of the questions make it difficult for readers to not answer. I will admit that I answered the question in the first line immediately with "The objects in the way of the sound waves, duh." I then didn't want to hear you wonder about things I already knew. This is not a stab at your intelligence at all. I'm sure you know how sound waves and echoes technically work. I'm just suggesting that you take a look at the questions and make sure they can't be answered immediately and then discarded by a pretentious reader.

The next thing I would like to address begins in line three. There you mention a stubbed toe that causes you to curse near the children's section of the library. It's hard for me to imagine someone stubbing their toe in a restroom (although this might be my dense reader moment), especially a public one. I could much more easily see someone hitting their elbow or something (which plays into funny bone, humor section, etc.).

The section about Tommy and his mother is confusing to me. You talk about the yard, then Tommy's face, then an engine and upholstery. You compare Tommy (or yourself?) to a dead king, and then shift to the mother with grass behind her eyes, and end with "the want for solitude," which is not mentioned anywhere else.

I think this is a good draft, but it just needs a little refining and elaboration. Good luck!