This week for my free entry I decided to post the beginnings of a sestina I'm working on. If you don't remember what a sestina is, go here. Anyway, I'm nowhere close to being done, but I'm interested in getting some feedback while it's still early. Let me know what you guys think.
Rainy Day Sestina
I sit sheltered from most of the rain.
I say most because when the wind blows just right,
the water drifts sideways and hits my shoes.
Across the street a girl walks.
Dressed ironically in a sundress, with sandals, yet very pretty,
she holds her head high as she takes her soaking steps.
At last she walks up the building's steps,
finally sheltered as I am from the rain.
She shakes her umbrella, which is pretty
with green and white stripes from left to right.
Continuing her journey, she walks
inside, wiping her shoes
on the mat, but to no avail. The shoes
still squeak loudly with every step.
Here comes a couple walking
by. The perfect gentleman shelters his lady from the rain.
She laughs as a large drop hits his head. "I'll be alright,"
he assures her, and she smiles a pretty
smile.
That's all I've got so far. Comments are appreciated.
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