Peer response 1, Post 6, Week 5

In response to Brandy's free entry:

I also don't know who Dave Pelzer is, but I searched his name on Google and found that he was a survivor of childhood abuse who is now a self-help author. That small bit of research coupled with your explanation at the end was enough for  me to understand that this was what you wished for Dave rather than the unfortunate childhood he had. I think, regardless of what he had in mind, this works as a piece that we all wish was accurate. That said, there are still errors from a technical standpoint. For example, piñatas shouldn't have an apostrophe.I like the alliteration of "bruised bodied blood," but I'm not sure it makes sense. I think you could use some commas between the "not______" sections, and I'm a little confused as to why you used "her" in the last line of the second stanza. But the basis of the piece is good. I agree with Tim that you could bring in some more detail, but overall good work.